Obsess not, trust much

Psalm 52: 8-9 "But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever. I will praise You forever. Because You have done it; And in the presence of Your saints I will wait on Your name, for it is good." (The Woman's Study Bible, 2nd Edition, 1995, Thomas Nelson Inc. New King James Version.)

A blue ink pen had been stepped on and crushed, inadvertently, in the middle of the kitchen floor.

As I looked down at the white cabinets, I saw little marks in blue as if someone had pressed thumbprints all along the entire row.

Who would do this?

A houseful of bouncing children perhaps.

And then as I looked down at the culprit pen, that is when I saw it.

All of my toes were blue on the ends.

That is when I realized that because I do not like to put my toes under a cabinet overhang, I would curl them to rest on the lower cabinet door as I went to and fro in the kitchen.

I could not stop laughing at this ridiculous sight.

Yet another weird habit of my obsessive personality.

Through the years, other habits emerged.

Every couple of years, I buy a new Bible because I like the pretty pages.

A month after the purchase, I then will obsess that the pages have verses I want to underline.

Then the ink flows again. Highlighter and marker.

The day comes when my desire for a new Bible comes. I obsess over it. I have a shelf full already.

The same Word. With different seasons of ink.

Other obsessions include using a fresh white washcloth for my face every day. It must be scalding hot before I put it on my face in the morning and evening.

In relationships, the obsessions have surfaced as the fear that I am not accepted or liked. (Which is ridiculous. Everyone has preferences and if someone does not like you, it is usually on them, not you, unless you are rude or unkind.)

Also it surfaces as a need to make people happy. Which is not a bad trait, as long as you realize that people are on the hook for their own happiness. Sometimes people are not happy because of things they don't talk about.

Obsession comes to the forefront of every hair decision I make.

Grow it out, cut it short. I have gray coming in. Let it grow natural or keep it the blonde rinse that I love?

I don't want to look like a hag.

But what is a hag? I don't think that of other people! Why do I apply the thought to myself?

Spiritually, the obsession surfaces when I weigh my sinful self (scripture says we all sin intentionally and unintentionally) and wonder if the sacrifice of Jesus covers it.

That sacrifice does cover it. And more.

I am grateful for the other gifts that obsession brings .. creativity, think outside of the box abilities, the ability to endure much and find the Light, a desire to make exact calculations and to do perfect work.

The rest I can entrust to God.

And not obsess on whether He has it ❤️

By Kathy Leigh Berkowitz

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